week 19...
fair dinkum
Ekka '02, Brisbane

Hi ho! Kermit dee Frog here with an Ekka News Bulletin: a major malfunction has occurred with Muppet Labs Chronotron 2002 (patent pending). Dr. Bunsen Honeydew (and his assistant, Beaker) were working on the earth-shattering time travel device, when they put in an order for parts to a Japanese company, who mistakenly supplied them with parts to a Clone-o-tron instead. When yours truly stepped into the machine, after missing out on the free samples of Oh So Tender Pork, well, the result speaks for itself. That's the news. Kermit dee Frog, reporting.
bags of fun...
Showbags! Showbags! We love showbags! And so many to choose from!

What's a showbag, you ask? Why, it's the most wonderful thing that could ever happen to a 10 year old! Imagine a prepackaged sack of pure fun! Like lollies? Buy the Cadbury Yowie showbag! Fancy a pampering? The Barbie All Star showbag is right for you! Hunting for adventure, education and hand-eye coordination? How about the Army Action Backpack showbag! There's so many, you could spend the entire day in the Showbag Pavilion and never make a decision!

I know what you're saying: "Surely, Kevin and Aimee, there cannot be as many as you say." Oh yeah, Mr. Smartiepants?

Complete List of Showbags:
A LITTLE LUXURY SAMPLE BAG ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS ACTION FUN SHOWBAG ACTION MAN BACKPACK AIR FORCE 1 ALL SNAKES ARMY ACTION BACKPACK ARNOTT'S TIM TAM AUSSIE GLUCOSE BAG AUSSIE SOLDIER SHOWBAG AUSSIE STRIKE FORCE BABE & FRIENDS BAG OF MUSIC BALLANTYNE BANG BANG BUBBLE GUM BARBIE ALL STAR BARBIE SIZZLE & POP BARNEY BACKPACK BAG BART'S GAG BAG BATMAN BAG BEACH BABE SHOWBAG BEAR IN THE BIG BLUE HOUSE BERTIE BEETLE BONANZA BIG BANG BUBBLE GUM BIG BUBBLE GUM BAG BLACK KNIGHT BLUES CLUES BACKPACK BAG BOUNTY HUNTER BRIS LIONS AUST FOOTBALL CLUB SHOULDER BAG SHOWBAG BRITNEY SPEARS NO 1 SHOWBAG BUBBLE GUM BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER BUNDY SHOWBAG BURGERMAN SHOWBAG BUTT-UGLY MARTIANS BUZZ LIGHT YEAR BACKPACK B105 SHOWBAG CADBURY CADBURY KING SIZE CADBURY MINI FAVOURITES CADBURY PICK 'N' MIX SELECTION CADBURY SPECIAL TREATS CADBURY TIME-OUT CADBURY YOWIE CANDY BAG CANDY COUNTRY BAG CANDY GALORE SHOWBAG CANDY NOVELTY CANDY NOVELTY CANDY TOP BAG CANDY WORLD BAG CANDYMAN CANDYTIME CANDYWORLD LOLLIPOP BAG CAPTAIN CANDY COMBO CARAMEL CORN SHOWBAG CASPER MOSTLY GHOSTLY CANDY CC'S BAG CHANNEL TEN SHOWBAG CHEETOS CHEEZELS CHERRY RIPE CHEWY POP BANG BUBBLE BAG CHIPS & SNACKS BAG CHOC FAVOURITES CHOC MICE CHOC SAMPLER CHOCOLATE PICK & MIX CHOCOLATE SAMPLES CHUNKY CHUPA CHUPS CLIFFORD COCA-COLA BACKPACK SHOWBAG COMBO BAG COOL TEEN CRAZY BONES CRAZY SNAKES CRINKLE SHOWBAG CRUNCHIE DARRELL LEA CHOCOLATE BAG DARRELL LEA LOTS OF LIQUORICE BAG DARRELL LEA PIG OUT BAG DIGIMON BAG DIRTY GAGS SHOWBAG DISCO DOLLY SHOWBAG DISNEY PRINCESS BEAUTY BAG DOLLYKINS DORITOS DOVE CHOCOLATE BAG DRAGONBALL Z EVANS CONFECTIONERY SHOWBAG FAIRY WINKS FAIRYLAND FAIRYTALES FIRE AND RESCUE SHOWBAG FIZZO BAG FREDDO FREDDO SPECIAL TREATS FUN FIZZ FUNKY CHICK SHOWBAG FYNA DELUXE CHOCS BAG FYNA LICORICE BAG GAG MAGIC GARFIELD "SUPER MAXI" SHOWBAG GARFIELD COOL CAT GARFIELD SUPER SNACK GATORADE GHOST DROPS SHOWBAG GIANT FREDDO & FRIENDS GIRLFRIEND GIRLS BAG O' PRESSIES SHOWBAG GIRLS ONLY GLAMOUR TEEN BAG GLITTER GIRL SHOWBAG GODZILLA GROOVY INFLATABLES GUMMI TROLLI GUMMIE BEARS BAG HARRY POTTER BACKPACK HARTBEAT SHOWBAG HI-5 DRAWSTRING BAG HOT WHEELS HUBBA BUBBA HUMUNGUS JUMBO MEGA WARHEADS JUNIOR BUILDER BAG JUNIOR GENIUS SHOWBAG KANDY AND POPS KARATE NINJA BAG KENMAN LICORICE DELUXE BAG KETTLE CHIPS KING GANG BAG KING SIZE KIT KAT KING SIZE VIOLET CRUMBLE LAYS POTATO CHIPS LIFE SAVERS LIGHTS SHOWBAG LITTLE GOLDEN BOOKS LITTLE MISSY LITTLE PRINCESS SHOWBAG LITTLE TOOL MAN BAG LOONEY TUNES 6 IN 1 LORD OF THE RINGS M&MS BACKPACK BAG MAGA VALUE MAGIC HORROR & TRICKS MAGIC TROLL SHOWBAG MARS BAG MARS SUPER BAG MARVIN THE MARTIAN MARY JANE SHOWBAG MEDIUM KIT KAT MEDIUM VIOLET CRUMBLE MEGA BISCUITS SHOWBAG MEGA CARS SHOWBAG MEGA COMBAT SHOWBAG MEGA DOLLS SHOWBAG MEGA FUN FIZZ MEGA GLAMOUR SHOWBAG MEGA INFLATABLES SHOWBAG MEGA MAGIC SHOWBAG MEGA STARS SHOWBAG MEGA SUMO NO 1 SHOWBAG MEGA SUMO NO 2 SHOWBAG MEGA TRAIN SHOWBAG MEGA TRANSFORMERS SHOWBAG MEGA WARHEAD 6 IN 1 COMBO MEGA WARHEADS MENDIS TEA SHOWBAG MICKEY & FRIENDS MIGHT BIG BAG 6 IN 1 MILKY BAR MILKY WAY BAG MINI TRANSFORMERS SHOWBAG MINI WARHEADS SHOWBAG MINTIES MONSTER MONSTER MUNCHIES MONSTER WHEELS MONSTERS INC BACKPACK MORISH NUTS JUNIOR SHOW BAG MORISH NUTS MUMS AND DADS SHOW BAG MORISH NUTS PREMIUM SHOW BAG MR BEAN MR FIX IT BAG MUPPETS MY FIRST SHOWBAG NINJA NINJA WARRIOR SHOWBAG NO RULES NO 1 CHIPS NO 2 BUBBLE GUM NO 3 CHOCS NO 4 POPS NO 5 DRINK NO 6 STICKS NO 7 CANDY NO 8 SNACKS NOVELTY BUBBLE GUM OLD AUSSIE STYLE LICORICE OLD STYLE LICORICE PASCALL FRUIT BURST PEPSI SHOWBAG PEZ PHANTOM PLANTERS BAG POCKET BEAN PALS POKEMON #1 POKEMON #2 POLICE- SWAT PONY PAL SHOWBAG POOH BIG BAG POOH JNR ACTIVITY BAG POOH PRE SCHOOL POOH TEEN BAG POWER PUFF GIRLS - TEEN PRINCESS BRIDE SHOWBAG QUEENIE SHOWBAG QUEENSLAND BULLS CRICKET SHOWBAG RAINBOW SHOWBAG RIDE EM COWBOY RUGRATS SALLY ANN SAM BLUE BAG SAMBOY BAG SANTAL TEA SHOWBAG SCHWEPPES SCOOBY SNACKS BIG BAG SHERBET POPS & FIZZ SHREK DRAWSTRING BAG SIK SIMPLY IRRESISTABLE SHOWBAG SKITTLES BAG SMALL ARMY SMALL GOBSTOPPERS SMART ART SMARTIES SMITH'S CHIPS SNAKES ALIVE SNICKERS BAG SNICKERS 2 FOR $6.00 BAG 'S'OK REAL POTATO CHIP SOUR PUSS BAG SPIDERMAN STAR WARS - EPISODE 1 STARBURST BAG STARBURST LOLLIPOP BAG STICKS & POPS SUGAR 'N SPICE BAG SUNFRUITS BAG SUNNY BOY SUPER HOT WHEELS SUPER WHEELS SUPERMAN SUPERSNACK BAG SWAT POLICE BAG SWIZZ KIDS - LOLLIPOPS SWORD AND SORCERY SHOWBAG SYLVESTER'S SNACK BAG (FOR CATS) TARZAN TELETUBBIES THE "ORIGINAL IDIOT" SHOWBAG THE BIG BAG EXTREME CHOICE THE BREAKA SHOWBAG THE BRONCOS SHOWBAG THE FOOTY SHOW SHOWBAG THE GAG BIG BAG THE GIANT SHOWBAG THE GREATEST SHOWBAG ON EARTH THE MEGA SHOWBAG THE SANTAL PLUS SHOW BAG THE SHOWBUSTER SHOWBAG THE WIGGLES THINS BAG THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE & FRIENDS TIGGERIFFIC 4 IN 1 TINKERBELL TINY TOTS SHOWBAG TODDLERS PLAYTIME TODDLERS SANDPIT SHOWBAG TOOL MAN TRIPLE M SHOWBAG TWEETY BAG TWEETY TEEN TWEETY'S BIG BAG TWISTIES ULTIMATE MAGIC VB SHOWBAG #1 VB SHOWBAG #2 VIDEO EZY WACKY FIZZ WCW - NEW WORLD ORDER WEIRDEST AND WACKIEST WHEELS PLUS BAG WICKED WARHEADS SHOWBAG WIZZ FIZZ BAG WIZZ FIZZ SUPER BAG WORLD OF WONKA WORLDS BIGGEST WWF XXXX SHOWBAG YUPI- GUMMI BEARS BAG

List partially condensed. Complete list and contents of showbags available at www.ekka.com.au.

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boxing day Dinner:Jambalaya Shrimp:Garlicky Today's Weather:
We knew it wouldn't last forever. Christmas may come but twice a year in Australia, but once it's gone, it's gone. Today we got a customs bill for that amazing solar panel we were celebrating last week. Let me tell you, Kevin isn't smiling nearly as widely now. I am though, 'cuz Ah gots a kitchen to cook mah Tony's Cajun Louisiana Home Cooked Jambalaya in! Ah Guar-on-tee!

"Do you get mad when I call you hideous?"
- Aimee.
sale! Roadtrip T-shirts:$22 Roadtrip Hats:$18 Roadtrip Undies:$12 Today's Weather:
We will never be able to complain about tacky giftshops again, because we've got one to call our own! The Giftshop is open for business! We've got all the clothes you need to really make a good impression on that first date or job interview. Just think how confident you'll feel knowing that underneath your pinstripe suit you're wearing undies with Uncle Kev's smiling face on the bum.
   Order your pair now! giftshop.beimers.com! They're going fast!

"Antarctica. An unforgettable one day experience."
- Advertisement in the Brisbane Post.
zah! Gorael the Air Fairy:29Oceana the Water Fairy:36Gigarex the Metal Fairy:36Clum the Psi Fairy:33Tinezard the Fire Fairy:38Today's Weather:
In the old days, men used to bond over the simple things in life: beer and porn. Nowadays, the beer has been replaced by Coca Cola and the porn replaced by Lara Croft (unless we're talking about Colin, in which case it's still beer and porn). But David and Kevin have taken it one step further... Fairies. Yup, you heard me right.
  Dave and Kev have spent the last week playing the PC game Zanzarah, which is based mostly on catching little fairies (not that there's anything wrong with that). I don't mind because I'm getting a huge kick listening to two grown men discussing how their Nature Fairy held up against Blumella in the Enchanted Forest. Oooh. Scary. Forget Zombies, Fiends, Stroggs, or even Shamblers anymore; the men are talking about the fairy duel at the Great Tree, where the nastiest foe they'll meet is named Blumella.
  If you ask me, I think they're both off with the fairies.

"You know what'd be scary? Siamese twins... dressed up as clowns! OOOO! Imagine them in the dark!"
- Emma.
open up Admission:$18 Crazy Snakes Showbag:$4 Little Luxury Showbag:$12 Today's Weather:
It's Ekka! It's Ekka! It's a wonderful time. It's Ekka! It's Ekka! Fun for the girls and the boys! Step right up to the greatest show on earth! Don't miss the circus sideshows and the showbags! See the amazing diving pigs and the showbags! Shoot water balloons at the clowns, learn how to make a fake credit card, and buy lots of cheap plastic crap you don't need from our wonderful industrial warehouse of showbags! And don't you dare leave without buying at least six showbags! We've got it all and more at the Ekka...

"I'm beginning to understand why Brisbane didn't win the National IQ test."
- Aimee.
ssdb... Mini Golf Courses:2 All You Can Eat Seafood Buffets:5 T-shirt Stores:22 Ripley's Believe it or Not:1 Today's Weather:
I thought places like this only existed in America! That's why we left!
  There's no sense elaborating on Surfer's Paradise. Instead, pop back to Day 93 of the American Roadtrip. Consider the four requirements filled. Yes, even the Ripley's.

"Usually, I'm the Abbott."
- Aimee.
why fight it? Outback Burger Combo:$5.95 Pavlova Passion:$2.95 Today's Weather:
American influence... too... strong.... Must... clog... arteries.... Now now, don't get all high and mighty on us just because we went to the McDonalds. We have our reasons. There are three, actually:
  1) If the point of Surfer's Paradise is good old-fashioned pre-packaged Americana, McDonalds takes the hashbrown.
  2) We've seen ads recently for the new Tastes of Australia Menu, which include the Outback Burger (see Week 15 for the contents), and the Pavlova Passion (essentially a giant meringue with ice cream and passion fruit sauce). Beetroot? Fried Egg? Pavlova? Where do I sign up? I tell ya, Ronald makes a mean Aussie meal. Why, it looks just like the picture on the menu! And just like the commercial says: "They're Australiumptious!"
  3) We were swept up in a current of Asian tourists.

"Preparing to blow pop stand... Blowing pop stand...
Pop stand blown, awaiting further orders."
- Kevin.
paradise tossed Site Number:53 Sleep:Poor Today's Weather:
Our joy at having escaped the marketing grip of Surfer's Paradise is doubled at finding the beautiful, much less commercial, Byron Bay waiting for us. They say, "If you hate Surfer's, you'll love Byron, and vice versa," the they being our camping neighbours.
  Well, Byron Bay is still commercial, but it's got its own brand of "relax and have a freshly squeezed wheatgrass shake" commercialism that's much easier to stomach (if you like wheatgrass).

"Is that woman pregnant again or pregnant recently?"
- Aimee.



Gadzooks!
Remember this guy back on Week 15? Well, it's not a Swedish male enlargement pump, it's not a telephoto lens, and it's definitely not a rare 17th century rocket launcher used to hunt down those enourmous crocs (soon to be resurrected for Crocodile Hunter II: Bite Me Mate). Good answers, though.

No, the winner is, yet again, our biggest fan and member of the Five Timer's club, Michael Kellman, who coughed up this loogie:

Isn't he shooting t-shirts into the crowd at a footy game? They do that at American baseball games. Alternately, he might be sucking mosquitos out of the air.

Second place goes to Nolan Moore of Calgary, Alberta, who's answer arrived in my inbox a mere 9 minutes after Michael's. As they say, you snooze you lose! Anyway, until next time, hold your head up high, unless your name is Maude Flanders.



where's wally wombat?
Did you know that the most poisonous snake in the world is found right here in Australia? It's the Western Taipan, and it can kill a wombat faster than you can say "Where's Wally?" One thing's for sure, you won't find Wally anywhere near this crazy snake!

Look for Wally every week!
dinkum: (adj.) As difficult to define as Canada's "eh", dinkum is best described as honest, true blue. If you're a dinkum bloke, it's a good thing.
 fair dinkum: In the same context, used like "Ain't that the truth?" 


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monday
 tuesday
 wednesday
 thursday
friday
 saturday
 sunday was
uneventful
We've got mail...
Hi Wally, Kevin and Aimee
We are happy that you are enjoying the sunshine in Queensland. Unfortunately we are inside because it is wet weather timetable for us. How is the weather for you now?
Jessica in our class broke her wrist last week! Alex has gone to the snow for a week at Falls Creek. Our students of the week are Amy C and Ashleigh B.
We loved the photograph of Wally and Tess. Has Wally been on a date with Tess yet? Is Wally impressing Tess?
Are the bikes still arriving next week? We saw about two people who rode their bikes like you are getting across Russia, through Mongolia to Beijing. I guess you can't wait.
How did the pig diving, sorry Wombat Diving go? We hope Wally wasn't a Piker through and through?
Nobody has been to Magnetic Island but 12 of us have been to Queensland. Judd was born in Queensland.
Has Wally found a helmet that fits his gentle head?
Mr Vivian says Hi and how is his brother? His brother says he is missing you already.
- Year 3, Horsham 298 Primary

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© 2002 Kevin Beimers & Aimee Lingman. A part of Ekka since 1951.