week 20...
jump, dive & whale

Byron Bay - Pt. Macquarie

This is Spurd. He's a Plover (rhymes with Danny Glover, not with Grover). Spurd is one of the many exciting creatures that live in Byron Bay.

We love Byron Bay, too. Not necessarily for its many exciting creatures, but for another reason...

That's right! The -Est List continues! If you've been with us since the
The American -Est List
Eastport ME, Day 1
Key West FL, Day 81
Lebanon KS, Day 113
Belle Fourche, Day 115
Northern MN, Day 135
Rugby ND, Day 137
Death Valley CA, Day 179
Cape Mendocino CA, Day 193
Cape Flattery WA, Day 197
American Roadtrip, we made a point of visiting nearly every furthest geographical extremity of the U.S. of A. We know we won't get to see all of them in Australia (Thursday Island, the Northernmost point in Oz, the tippy-top of Queensland, is about 1000 miles of ribbed, rocky roads passable only with a 4x4 with an extra gastank and comfort beads on the seat), but this was like a little taste of home. Sigh. I miss Mel.
Alyshia, No Questions:
Age: 24
Sign: Aries
School: U of Vic, BC
Major: Biology
Job: Cardamom Pod
Little Known Fact: She's a Mollydooker!

Talia, No Lies:
Age: 22
Sign: Libra
School: U of Sask
Major: Marketing
Job: Byronian Cafe
Little Known Fact: Once gave Will Smith a high five!

meet a couple of canadians
Alyshia and Talia have turned this town upside down. Known as "The Canadians" to just about everyone in Byron Bay, these two have maxxed-out their work visas to the fullest degree and made a name for themselves as ambassadors with a capital "Eh". Let's get their story...

Why Australia? We were looking for adventure, and Australia's a great place for it, there's no language barrier, and Aussies and Canadians are pretty much on the same wavelength. Also, we're part of the post-uni, pre-career bracket. It's the perfect opportunity.

Why Byron Bay? We wanted to come to a small town, just to be able to get to know everyone. Since we've arrived, we've learned that Byron Bay is laid back, and very open minded -- astrology, herbal medicine, that sort of thing. In the beginning we were skeptical, but now... who knows, right?

When you go home, how will people say you've changed? I think they'll say we're more open minded, more accepting, and aware of the real priorities.

Any advice for other Canadians who want to come over here? Stop talking about it and do it. People say to us, "You're so lucky to be in Australia." It's not hard. Get over the mental barrier and just go!
cooking with teigan...
Welcome to Cooking with Teigan! I'm your host, Teigan Forrest, and this is my show! I wanna bake something, wanna bake, wanna bake, hmm, what can I bake...

Nana! What can I bake? I wanna bake something! I know! Scones! Let's make scones! Nana, I'm making scones! And I'm going to teach everyone how!

Teigan's Scones
1. First, you need three cups of lightly sifted flour. Nana! Where's the flour?! Oh, right here. I don't know where the sifter is so I'll just scoop it into the bowl. That's right, pat it down so it fits in the cup.
2. Find some really old crusty baking powder in the back of the pantry cupboard. Or maybe it's baking soda. Anyway, you need three teaspoons. Actually, any spoon will do. Scoop scoop scoop... yay!
3. A quarter teaspoon of salt. Salt? Scones are supposed to be sweet! Oh well, it says salt.
4. Get some butter out of the fridge. One ounce. How much is an ounce? Is that like a cup? NANA!!! What? What's wrong with this butter? Oh, nyeh nyeh nyeh, it's the no cholesterol kind. What butter can I use then? But Nana, this is margarine! It says butter! Oh okay.
5. Oh wait, that was supposed to be a quarter tablespoon. We'll just put in a little more.
6. Oops, I should have preheated the oven to 200 degrees.
7. Lastly, you need one cup of milk. Slosh!
8. Now, mix it all up... with my hands? Aw, Nana? But... okay... Eugh. Bleh! It's all squishy! Ha ha ha! Ewww! Gross! But Nana, you told me to knead it! What do you mean, not too much? Okay, don't knead it too much or they'll turn out badly. Now squash it so it's flat.
9. Cut into circles. Do we have anything to cut this... a knife?! I can't cut circles with a knife! Squares? But every scone I've ever had is round, you can't have a square scone! Okay, Nana, okay. Those ones on the corner look funny though. Okay, you eat those then.
10. And presto! Pop them into the oven, let them rise up... hey, mine didn't rise. Oh well. Let's eat them!

Yum! A tasty treat for everyone! As Kev says, they defy the laws of physics: They're heavy as lead, but they won't go down! Make some at home! And remember, don't bother cleaning up! Nana will do it! Bye bye!
brush with death #4
Boing! Boing! Boing! went the trampoline, like any trampoline in the backyard of any small town in any country. "Higher!" shrieked the child atop the trampoline, like any child on any trampoline in the backyard of any small town in any country.

Only, this trampoline was different. Or rather, what was under this trampoline was different. Very different. So different, in fact, that its tongue was an eerie blue.

"What the...?" asked Kevin, as he watched something about the size of a shoe slink across the lawn. Then he added, "Aimee, c'mere! And bring the camera!"

Hisssssss went the shoe. Its blue tongue flipped out of its mouth like a tongue, except it was blue. In a rush, Kevin snapped a string of pictures, a photojournalist not unline that chick from Jurassic Park II. The red head. Juliette Lewis. No, that wasn't her. Whatever, you get it.

Kevin grew curious. "Do they bite?" he asked the Australians, who should know. "Oh, yes," replied the 11 year old girl. "Are they poisonous?" he asked further. "Oh, yes," replied the 6 year old girl.

And with that, Kevin let the Blue-Tongued Lizard escape into the pile of concrete, just like any pile of concrete in the backyard of any small town in any country.

True Blue:
Did you know? The Blue-Tongued Lizard has a stumpy tail so predators won't know which end is the head! Pretty weak defense, if you ask me!

Did you know? The Blue-Tongued Lizard isn't really poisonous. The girls were just wimps.

Click here for...
Brush with Death #1
Brush with Death #2
Brush with Death #3

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snip! Coffee:$4 Salad:$13 Haircut:$20 Today's Weather:
The question is: does Kevin's intelligence reside in his hair? By cutting it, will we be subjected to months of dull commentary and lame stick-figure drawings? He's reached the point where more food gets stuck in his sorry excuse for a moustache than in his mouth, and when you're in the middle of the outback, every scrap of food is important, but then again, so is strength of wit. Let's ask Kevin what he thinks... Kev?
  Duh? Huh? Wha? Blblblblblbl...
And there you have it. Looks like I'm going to have to be the brains of this outfit (like I wasn't already). No! Bad Kevin! No biscuit!

"Bob is the name of the local dumb guy everybody likes."
- Aimee.
more coffee? Dolphin Sightings:Whale Sightings:Today's Weather:
Picture it: we're surrounded by flash motor homes more expansive than the average starter home. When people do bring their tents along, it's to supplement their motor homes; a portable addition, if you will. To complete their home away from home, they've got a barbie, a pop-up dining room set, porcelain dishes, an astroturf lawn, the list of luxuries goes on.
  Then there's us. We've got our tent... and that's about it. No chairs, no portable stove, nada. Perhaps this is why our neighbours, Rod and Frankie, took pity on us and treated us to freshly made hot coffee and toast. After all, neighbours should be there for one another. That's when good neighbours become good friends.

"How many 'bachelors' do you know who own a picnic basket?"
- Aimee.
ee! ee! ee! Dolphin Sightings:21 Possible Whale Splashes:Snausages:Today's Weather:
And here's the other reason to come to Byron Bay: dolphins! Byron Bay is famous for its seasonal sea mammals. Whales, dolphins, you name it... if it splashes, it's in Byron. Around here, you can't throw a caramel latte without hitting a dolphin, which makes for a fascinating few days of sightseeing.
  What is it about sea mammals? Whales I can understand... something the size of a city bus that breathes oxygen is mind blowing. Freaky. I don't think I'd want to swim in the ocean with a whale. I'd always have that underlying fear that something with a mouth that big with eyes on the sides of its head could eat me without even knowing it, and then he'd cough and spit just like I do when I'm on my bike and swallow a bug. That gives me the creeps.
  I like dolphins though. They'd just bump into me and giggle and swim away. I could handle that.

"I've solved the mystery of the morning moo."
- Kevin.
6 of kevin b Arrived:6:15 Walked:7km Today's Weather:
What's in Port Macquarie? Well, 11 years ago, Kev's family went on a bus tour of Europe. On that bus tour, they met a couple named Marg and Tom. They're from New Zealand. Now, Marg has a brother who moved to Australia 20 years ago, who's name is John, and John and his wife Trish live in Port Macquarie. Kev's parents, who still keep in touch with Marg and Tom, were told by Marg and Tom that if Kev and Aim want to stay with John and Trish then that's okay with John and Trish.
  So you see, we will go to any lengths to spend a free night in someone's house, even if they're four degrees of separation away...

Do you know someone who knows someone who knows someone who lives in Australia? Email us!

"No way you're on television! You don't look like a star!"
- Brieanna, to Kevin.
kiss a cook Kev's Dream:Ants Starring:V.Vaughn Today's Weather:
Two weeks ago, you learned that Pizza Delivery was the number one reason we'd settle down and buy a house. The second reason is the amazing tool we like to call The Stove. Aimee and I both love to cook, and let's face it, your options are kind of limited when your best pot holds three cups of water and has the Girl Guide logo stamped on the side. So, when we do end up spending the night at a friend's house, or a brother of a friend of a parent's house, our payment (besides worldwide fame) is a tantilizing meal of curry chicken with rice. It's win-win!

"Were you just going to lie there and sniff until I got up?"
- Kevin.
boing! Flour: 3 cupsBaking Powder: 3 tsp.Salt: 1/4 tbsp.Butter: 1 oz.Milk: 1 cupYum! Today's Weather:
Here's a joke: What's more fun than two kids on a trampoline? Give up? We don't know either!

- Front Page Headline, Port Macquarie News.
sunday drive Koalas:Donuts:Today's Weather:
It's John's day off, so we're off to see everything there is to see in Port Macquarie (by the way, it's pronounced mack-QUOR'-ee, not MACK'-a-ree. I can't seem to sort that one out).
  The day started with the local market, and you know how Aimee looooooves markets. We wandered around, looked at some cheap books, cheap CDs, expensive chainsaw bears, yucky tasting jam, and taught the 11 year old what weed smells like. The smell was wafting out of a van in the market with tinted windows, just before a lady came out of it and said, "Like that shirt? It's hemp!" We told Teigan that if she ever smelled that smell again, go the other way. That's good advice to all you year threes in Horsham, except you can't smell it since our website isn't Click n' Sniff. In any case, don't do drugs.
  Our tour continued on to the Koala Hospital, our third time seeing Koalas in an enclosed environment. Each fence has a plaque on the front that reads something like: "My name is Giggles! I got hit by a car two months ago, but I'm doing fine now. My leg is bandaged up and I should be out of here by summer time. Yay! Don't forget to leave a donation!"
  We saw Jail Point, and if I recall, Port Macquarie was the third settlement ever in Australia. This Jail Point would have been the spot where the convicts rode in on the prison ship after months at sea. Convicts built the church, the town hall, and a bunch of other buildings in Port that are still standing today. Long live the convicts!
  Then the lighthouse, then Laurieton, then the North Brother lookout, then home. Whew!

"I dreamed we already had this conversation and I won it,
so there's no sense having it again."
- Aimee.

where's wally wombat?
Our Australian travel companion, Wally, always manages to squeeze his stickybeak into one of our photos. Can you find him?

Look for Wally this week!

mollydooker: (n.) a left-handed person. (or, in today's politically correct society, person who is left-handed.)
Fact: Frank Beimers and his 4 brothers all married mollydookers.

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We've got mail about the giftshop...

So, you figured that if you put Idana on a shirt, you could guarantee at least one or two purchases, nice.
I'm just upset that I can't get Idana undies.
- Michael Kellman, New York NY

Well........I just can't decide which one of the wonderful items to buy.
You guys are so clever...........!
- Kev's Mom, Thunder Bay ON

Hey Kevin and Aimee! It's me Shayler from Grand Manan, NB. You guys are really moving up in the world. First you go continental on your road trip and now begins the a&k paraphenalia. You two are so cool. Anyways, just thought I would say hi before I go to University. Talk to ya later!
- Shayler Shepherd, Grand Manan NB

Do you take real American money, or just that funny looking Canadian stuff:-)?
- Paul, Location Unknown

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© 2002 Kevin Beimers & Aimee Lingman. Snausages!