week 4...
i believe in the anzac nation

A Pub in Richmond

Well, our best guess is Australia New Zealand Army... Cookies?
cereal numbers...
Four weeks, four new cereals! Faced with hundreds, okay, dozens, of cereal choices in this crazy upside-down world, we knew we had to sample a few for you in the off-chance that you find yourself Brekky-less in Brisbane. Here's what to get and what to leave on the shelf...

Fibre: 12.0g (/100)
Total Carbs: 79.1g
Sugars: 0.9g
Week 1 : Uncle Toby's VitaBrits
Take a box of Bran Flakes and crush them up. Now, steam them back together with an iron, into a block the size of a cassette. Bingo! It's a Vitabrit! Oddly enough, this tastes better than it sounds. It's kind of the muffet of Australia. You've got to eat these slabs quickly though, because in less time than you can say "Where's the Vegemite" they're soggier than your gran's underpants. Tasty with fruit! The Vitabrit, I mean!
Overall Rating:

Fibre: 6.4g (/100)
Total Carbs: 80.6g
Sugars: 20.4g
Week 2: Kellogg's Sustain
An excellent combination of fruit, nuts, flakes, shavings, chunks, and other pleasant bits & pieces. Everything about this cereal is pleasant. It's got the right amount of sugary taste, so there's no need to add sugar. It's got the healthy-looking people on the box doing healthy looking people type things so that you feel pleasantly healthier just by eating this cereal. And, it keeps on crunching pleasantly down to the last pleasant bite. Here's a thought: try using Sustain to make healthy Rice Krispie Squares! (By the way, it's Rice Bubbles here.)
Overall Rating:

Fibre: 2.7g (/100)
Total Carbs: 71.7g
Sugars: 32.0g
Week 3: Kellogg's Nutri-Grain
The cereal of the Iron Man. Studies must have been done to determine everything about this cereal what would appeal to the 30-something athletic male ironman wannabe. The rivets on the box design. The forceful aggressiveness of the cereal splashing into the bowl like the first event of the triathalon. Even the shape of the cereal, like a bunch of little spoon sized cinderblocks, perfect for smashing on your manly stomach with your sledgehammer abs! RAAAAH!!! This cereal is man-tough! Built by real men, for real men. Kev says it could use a bit more sugar.
Overall Rating:

Fibre: 8.8g (/100)
Total Carbs: 78.2g
Sugars: 23.5g
Week 4: Uncle Toby's Sports Plus
Sadly, a weak imitation of Sustain. They've fallen into the classic cereal trap: too many unrecognizables. They've got the same fuit, nuts, flakes, shavings, chunks, bits and pieces as Sustain, but then passed the line by including wheat puffs, hard bits, stringy things, and... is that a chow mein noodle? There may even be iron filings buried deep in here to up the natural source of iron content. You spend more time digging and examining than you do eating and enjoying. Our advice to Uncle Toby: dumping the bits out of all of your factory cereal vats into a shiny new box does not a new cereal make.
Overall Rating:
eat what the anzacs ate!
Here's a tasty, nutritional treat you can make at home! It's quick, it's easy, and it lasts forever! Ask mum or dad to help you with the oven!

1 cup rolled oats
1 cup plain flour
1 cup sugar
3/4 cup coconut
125g (4 oz) butter
2 tablespoons golden syrup
1/2 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
1 tablespoon boiling water

1. Combine oats, sifted flour, sugar and coconut.
2. Combine butter and golden syrup, stir over gentle heat until melted.
3. Mix soda with boiling water, add to melted butter mixture, stir into dry ingredients.
4. Take teaspoonfuls of mixture and place on lightly greased oven trays; allow room for spreading.
5. Cook in slow oven (150C or 300F) for 20 min.
6. Loosen while still warm, then cool on trays.

Makes about 35.
What makes a good ANZAC?
During World War 1, the ladies back home were concerned for the nutritional value of the food being supplied to their men (the Navy ships were slow, so any food sent had to still be edible after two months). The answer: a biscuit with all the nutritional values possible, that uses syrup instead of eggs to bind it together. Neat!
ire drill Examination:$35 Cleaning:$55 X-Rays:$68 Today's Weather:
For the record, that's not Aimee's mouth. It's one of those disgusting pictures they hang up at the dentist's office, just to make your knees buckle and shout out in anguish, "Okay! I'll floss! I'll floss!" However, Aimee's mouth did have to visit the dentist this morning, and propaganda like this is one of the many many reasons Aimee hates the dentist. Hates them in three countries now! Maybe she can explain why, since I haven't been to a dentist in about four years. Read on...

"Maybe he was a hobgoblin. How tall was he?"
- Kevin.
fakin' da flava Jog:5km Banana Milk:Today's Weather:
It's great when you go to someplace new and you immediately become addicted to something there that you can't get at home. Like heroin! Wait, I think they sell that in Toronto. For us, in Australia, it's not heroin, but it's just as euphoric and doesn't require all those nasty needles. It's Big M Banana Milk! Australia's really into flavoured milks... Chocolate, Strawberry, Vanilla, Iced Coffee... Today we found Crunchie Milk and Caramello Milk. These are less a milk, and more of what would happen if you left a tub of ice cream out overnight and then poked a straw in it the next morning. Mmmm, Mmmm, great, with a great Big M for MMMMMM!

"Here's what I thi-- you're making shrimp for a snack?"
- Kevin.
derailed Biked before breakdown:300m Jogged in defiance:5km Today's Weather:
John and Ros (from Week 1) loaned us bikes for our stay in Melbourne, just so we could get around a little easier (20 years later, and I'm riding still riding Richard's bike). Well, I hate to tell Richard that I've just shredded his derailer. It's not like I meant to! Honest! It just busted! I just shifted on time and the whole thing fell apart. Look how upset I was! Anyway, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you somehow.
Kev: "What are you watching?"
Aim: "Pretty much the worst movie ever made."
Kev: "Oh, is Goldie Hawn in it?"
anzac day Collingwood:9-12-66 Essendon:4-9-33 Today's Weather:
Another national holiday overshadowed by football. In America, it's Thanksgiving: eat turkey, watch the game. Here, it's ANZAC Day, except I think you eat cookies instead.
Actually, ANZAC Day (equivalent to Remembrance Day or Veteran's Day) is pretty much the biggest holiday of the year here, some say bigger than Australia Day. So, it stands to reason that the two biggest warring factions of Aussie Rules Footy should bash it out at the MCG, as a symbolic struggle between the WWI ANZAC soldiers and the enemy Turks in the Battle of Gallipoli. We didn't realize how big this game was until we were dumb enough to show up at the MCG an hour before, expecting to get tickets. It was like trying to get into Star Wars Episode 1 on opening day without calling Moviefone first! Duh!

"I never imagined I'd be eating your national emblem."
- Kevin.

botany by irwin Movie:Panic Room Today's Weather:
Nothing much happened today, so here's a picture of a giant mushroom!

Crikey! It's as big as me head!

"Put the Coke on it for perspective. Everybody knows how big Coke is."
- Kevin.
worth few words Parrots:Galahs:Today's Weather:
I've got two pet peeves when it comes to taking photos. Firstly, I want to suckerpunch whomever invented telephone poles. The act of stringing electrical wires fifteen feet above the ground next to every road, highway, house, building, and sometimes straight through the bush, has ruined more scenery than I care to admit. Guaranteed, three out of four photos taken in the last 50 years were ruined by wires. The other peeve is that, on cue, any living creature I try to photograph moves out of the frame the second before the shutter clicks. They know. Dumb animals? Ha! They know. Anyway, this photo represents the culmination of my peeves, as I tried to take a photo of a beautiful parrot today. It's probably the most truthful photo I've ever taken.

"Cleans & freshens your mouth with an original flavour."
- Mouthwash catchphrase.
new housemate Ingredients on an Aussie Pizza:Ham & Egg? Today's Weather:
We received a lot of letters about the size of Nigel, and how brave Aimee was for living with him. Let me tell you, she wasn't so brave when she reached down for the ping-pong ball and came face-to-face not with Nigel, but with our latest housemate: Nelly, the Praying Mantis. The closest I can describe Aimee's reaction would be "Nyahhhh...GAH! Whoa! Eeesh!" I guess we know Aimee's vote for the next eviction.

"Nyahhhh...GAH! Whoa! Eeesh!"
- Aimee.
brekky: (sl.) breakfast. Australians (Aussies) like to shorten nouns so they end in 'ee'. Football: footy. Biscuits: bikkies. Poker machines: The Pokies. "Hooly Dooly, I was havin' a middy of Toohey's watchin' telly with the rellies an' me auntie surprised me with a prezzie. Bikkies, it was!"

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© 2002 Kevin Beimers & Aimee Lingman. Continuing the tradition of poor taste.