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Just for the record, that trash can came with the apartment.
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True Blue Roo
Name: Mick
Town: Somonton
Team: The ROOS!
Drink: Cougar Whiskey & Coke
Should he be driving home? No.
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interview with a drunken roo
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Mick: Oi! Wot's that crap on 'er face? (refering to Aimee's Essendon facepaint)
Kev: She's a Bombers fan, can you believe it? She left the roos for Essendon.
Mick: Woll, don't just sit there, punch 'er out!
Kev: (laughs) Isn't she hurting enough already?
Mick: Hey, where you from, mate?
Kev: Canada.
Mick: Awright, I thought I heard you talkin' funny, we got a couple o' Yanks in the crowd! (scooches over to sit on the steps)
Kev: Actually, we prefer the term 'Canuck--
Mick: Y'know I bin a Roos fan me whole life, and I bin coming to the games for thirty years, y'know the Roos haven't beat Essendon since 1998, bloody buggers Essendon, y'know the Bombers fans outnumber the Roos fans 3 to 1 here?
Kev: Watch it, you're spilling your drink. On my foot, actually.
Mick: Haha! I love the way you Yanks talk!
Kev: Canad--
Mick: AW COME ON UMP! Bloody ump can't see a fuc-- er, sorry, don't want to say bad things in front of the ladies... Oi! Wot's that crap on 'er face?
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what do you think?
The public has spoken! We asked, due to unimaginative thinking on our part, what you would like to see in this space. Here
are the poll results:
| Lamb Salad |
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(2 votes) |
| Nobby's Nuts |
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(1 votes) |
| Darla |
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(113 votes) |
| Potatoes |
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(2 votes) |
Darla's landslide victory can only be explained by an amusing anecdote... You see, during our
visit to Victoria, B.C. at the end of the American roadtrip,
we dropped in on my cousin Drew and his girlfriend Darla. My aunt has never met, nor seen a picture of Darla; she has only
been told that Darla is "Cute as a button!" I offered to send my aunt photos, in exchange for $10.
The conversation became heated, and, informing me via my mother, Aunt Annie swore to boycott the website until I sent photos.
This is when the Catch-22 arose: this poll. If her protest is valid, the votes should be close. Should she break her strike
and visit the site, she could compromise her morals and skew the negotiations like a lowly scab worker, but ultimately get
what she wants in the end. It's sneaky, but clever.
But, fair is fair. Here's your photo, Annie. You earned it.
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Imagine taking your old '78 Oldsmobile station wagon to the mechanic, and having the car returned a week later having had the engine, wheels, muffler, and whatever else is under the hood, replaced. You basically have a new car, with the old body still taped to the top, and the same sticky vinyl seats. But it still won't start! You call the mechanic back, right pissed now because you haven't been able to drive to work in a week, and he says, "Oh, I didn't bother to check the spark plugs. You check 'em?" And sure enough, it's the spark plugs.
That's pretty much where we are right now with the laptop.
"Unacceptable. Un. Ac. Cept. A. Ble."
- Kevin.
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When a computer boots up, or runs programs, or does the things computers are supposed to do, every little one and zero has to pass through the RAM. Therefore, if the RAM is bad, everything goes bad as it passes through. In a way, it's like filtering wine through a sweaty sock. Remove the sweaty sock, the wine will taste better. We removed the RAM, and we now have an operating system! Call IBM to replace that too! Why not, eh?
"Were you expecting mail from yourself with the subject 'look a website'?"
- Aimee.
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The RAM was replaced. But now that we're up and running again, we think we replaced the wrong one. Crap.
"Okay, we can't use Photoshop and Explorer at the same time, and we can't use Flash and Paint Shop Pro at the same time. As long as we only use Notepad, we might be able to get this done. If we move quickly."
- Kevin.
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What does Aimee get for switching to Essendon? Defeat! That's what! Just what a no good, low down, dirty traitor deserves! If she'd stuck with the Roos, she'd be jumping up and down in the stands like me and singing her team song. Instead, she gets to sulk! HAHA SULKY BABY!
"As far as I'm concerned, they've already won."
- Kevin, End of 1st Quarter, Roos up by 2.
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Back to the grind (or is that mince?). The computer is working perfectly, so long as you don't plug in the mouse, use the CD-ROM, and type the keys very very lightly. We finish today's tasks just in time to save them, then watch the computer flush itself down the brick dunny (clockwise, of course).
"STAY OUT OF THE ROOM! OUT! YOU'RE UPSETTING THE COMPUTER."
- Aimee.
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balancing act
|  98,2K,98,2K  |
We think we've got the right combination: If we install Windows 98 on D:, upgrade to 2000 with a clean install, install the virus protector, run a scan, then install all of our software, use the Thinkpad modem instead of the extra PCMCIA, and only use beimers.com online mail instead of Outlook, the computer works fine. Yeesh, it's like Gary Sinise trying to power up the LEM in Apollo 13...
"I was wearing your glasses so the computer would think I'm you and wouldn't crash."
- Kevin.
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shout:
(v.) The transitive form of shout, as in to shout someone, means that you'll pick up the tab. If a mate shouts you, he's a dinkum bloke.
the return
At best, 95 
a certain spark
95,98,2K 
lesson one
battling ram
victorious!
92 
84 
sweatshop
