in flight
the year with no april 2nd
Bye Bye North America!

Did you know? In Australia, the sun rises in the West and sets in the East! Wow! It's not even our first day, and already our site is full of misinformation.
starved for content...
Since the flight was long and boring, why don't we tell you about the United Overseas Inflight Menu? Whee!

To Begin
Garden fresh salad with dressing of the day
Main Course
Beef with Texas Barbecue Sauce
 Roasted red potato and a vegetable medley

Cheese Filled Shell, Tortellini & Manicotti Trio
 Alfredo and marinara sauces

Chilled Chicken Wellington
 Pasta Caesar salad

Eli's French Silk Cheesecake
Midflight Snack
A snack will be served between the two main meals.
Prior To Arrival
German Potato Pancakes
 Scrambled eggs with Mornay sauce

Cinnamon French Toast with Pork Sausage
 With fruit appetizer

Offered with our compliments Georges Duboeuf Merlot, Dourthe Freres Cabernet Sauvignon, or Fortant de France Chardonnay.
Other Beverages
Starbucks (R) coffee, decaffeinated coffee, tea and selected soft drinks are available throughout the flight.
 meet david petrilli
Our first Australian! We met David on the plane from Sydney to Melbourne, where our trip was just beginning and his was just ending.

Where are you flying in from? New York City.

Was that your first visit to America? Yeah. I'd never been there before so when it was time for me to take a break, I said what the heck and went.

What'd you think of the city? It was very fast. Everyone always had somewhere they had to go. I was staying with a couple of blokes from Melbourne and it seemed like they were getting kind of tired of the States.

What was your favourite part of the States? I liked everything, but I'd have to say I loved the cookies best. Every day I was at the Starbucks, getting a coffee and those wonderful cookies!

Where's the best place to eat in Melbourne? You've got to go to the Supper Inn. It's down an alley and up the stairs in Chinatown. I'm a restaurant owner and I still eat there.
David Facts:
Age: 22
Job: Restaurant Owner
Restaurant: Condutti
237 L. Heidelberg Rd
East Ivanhoe (Melb) Food: Italian

Looking for Love? Why not ask David out for a night of Chinese food and cookies?

That's a long way down!

Vx = 960 km/h
dy = 7150 m

dx = ?
t = ?
Vy1 = ?
african or european?
So, at about our tenth hour in the air, I glanced over at the ol' info screen, where it tells you little tidbits about your flight (altitude, speed, etc), and my mind began to drift towards what everyone eventually thinks about after 25 hours without sleep: physics!

I realized that with the information they gave me, properly applied, I could calculate how far we could travel before hitting the water if the engines were to suddenly cu-- okay, that's a little morbid. Let's put it this way. If a swallow was carrying a coconut at our altitude and velocity, then suddenly dropped the coconut for no discernible reason:

a) How far would the coconut travel horizontally before hitting the water?
b) How long would it take for the coconut to hit the water?
c) At what vertical velocity would the coconut hit the water (assuming frictionless space and not taking into account terminal velocity calculation)?

"Now that's a frickin' contest!" I said to myself. Can you figure it out? If you can, good for you! But you're too late to enter the contest!

Here's the answer!      Here's the winner!
t-minus 15:20:00... april 1 
The day has come! Audrey and Marcia, my cousins (whom you may have met at the end of our last trip), are geared up for a quick drive down to Seattle to drop us off at the airport. The sooner they're rid of us, the better!
t-minus 11:50:00...
Ahhh... good to be back in gloomy old Seattle. We asked Audrey and Marcia if they wouldn't mind driving us all around Southcenter Mall to knock off a few last minute North American errands. To say thanks, we bought lunch at Azteca, where the burritos aren't nearly the size of your head, as the radio ad would have you believe.
t-minus 09:55:00...
Arrived at the airport four hours early (you never know, these days). The ticket gal bumped us up from the 5:45 flight to the 3:35 to San Francisco. It may be a six hour stopover, but what the hell, San Francisco has a much better airport.
t-minus 08:05:00...
We're still in Seattle, passing through our fifth and hopefully final security checkpoint, unless there's some sort of body cavity search by the stewardesses in mid flight still to come.
t-minus 07:35:00...
We have lift off! Just to San Fran, though. We figure this doesn't count as the beginning of the actual flight; more like the taxi to the other airport. And hey! Free peanuts! Too bad, I hate peanuts. (That's Mt. Ranier way off in the distance.)
t-minus 05:55:00...
We land in San Francisco, a swell city with great Asian food! Perhaps not in the airport.
t-minus 02:40:00...
A man waiting at the same gate as us steps off to find the men's room. On his way out, he asks us: "Would you mind watching my stuff for a minute, so they don't blow it up?"
t-minus 01:05:00...
Boarding begins for the grand flight. I realize the key to passing a security inspection is to not wear my hat. Somehow, security guys don't trust men wearing hats. I also realize the flight is loaded with children under five. Maybe the in-flight movie is Bob the Builder.
It's 7000 miles to Melbourne, it's partly cloudy, it's eleven o'clock, we've got a full tank of gas, our tray tables are up, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it.

Flight Stats: Average Velocity:960km/h
Average Altitude:7150m
Average Outside Temperature:-44 degrees
Our main course arrives. And of course, when you're sitting in row 58, they never have the selection you'd like by the time they feed all the other passengers. We both would have preferred the Chilled Chicken Wellington, but instead, Aimee settled for the Beef with Texas BBQ Sauce, and I ended up with the Italian Trio. Which would you choose?
I must have fallen asleep at some point, though I don't remember. I wake up, disoriented, unsure of my surroundings. My vision is blurred, hazy. I shake the groggy feeling out of my head and look forward to see... Andy Garcia? This has to be some kind of weird dream. Ah, wait. It's just the in-flight movie. Andy Garcia as Bob the Builder. Hahaha. No, it's just Ocean's 11.
Somewhere over the ocean, Ocean's over. Ha, that's kind of clever, considering my state of mind. According to the little info screen, we've got about eight and a half hours to go, and we're just passing Hawaii. The next movie is Joe Somebody. I decide to stay up to watch, since Tim Allen's numbing hilarity may take my mind away from my numbing leg muscles.
Joe Somebody ends, and everyone wakes up. Not sure if the movie industry should draw a conclusion from that. The end of the movie coincides with the crossing of the equator, making it the perfect time to solidify the age old debate: When you flush the toilet over the equator, which way does the water go? Well, sorry folks, it's still a mystery. Airplanes have those blue-water suck-toilets. I guess the world wasn't meant to know.
Something must have happened around this time, because I notice later that I scribbled something down in my notepad. Can't for the life of me tell you what I wrote. Looks like something about Danny Aiello, and I can make out the words "...must leave before...." Sounds kind of frantic.
After the longest night of our lives (after all, it's April 3rd now), the sun finally catches up with the plane. We warm ourselves in all the glowing radiance that can fit through our 6x8 window. Ahhhh....
We begin our descent. We see land! We take up the remaining half hour of the flight filling out the friendliest customs declaration form ever, and collecting our scattered stuff. It's amazing how much you spread out when you're stuck in a chair for over 14 hours.
We made it! We can stand! We can run! We can jump! We're free! We're free at last!
But only for about 45 minutes, there's still a two hour flight to Melbourne from here...
We've got mail...
oh my god! you guys are amazing! i can't wait to read more adventures! and i also got your shitty postcard! it's great!
- Karen, Bronx NY

Hi Aimee & Kevin:
What you guys are doing is pure genius... and so much fun to boot.
On this day of the reality show craze you couldn't be more in tune w/ the times.
Love how the other site turned out.. and looking forward to keep tabs on your travels and adventures. Best of luck from the Palisades...
- Patricia, Union City NJ

Nice to have you back!!!! We missed you.
- Kev's Mom & Dad, Morelia MX

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© 2002 Kevin Beimers & Aimee Lingman. Leavin' on a jet plane.