week 66...
the best present ever

Christmas at David's

Who knew that a twelve-foot trike, when broken up into digestable bits, could easily cover an entire backyard? (It did!)
the indestructibles...
It's always surprising to see what can survive extreme heat, biting cold, torrential rain and forgetful adventurers. In fifteen months, what few things have we managed to keep from beginning to end?

1. These four bungee cords
2. The odometer and headlight
3. Two out of three bike locks
4. All 6 Pocket Farkel dice
5. The bottle of insect repellant
6. Eddie Bauer CD holder
7. Wilson, Wally, Aimee & I

Then, of course, there are the memorable losses along the way, like that third bike lock we lost in Hervey Bay on day 4. Here are a few of the bits that were put out to pasture, or simply went MIA...

1. Mr. Skinnylegs' head - Bodalla, NSW
2. The upside-down bin - Margaret River, WA
3. Mess Kit - Halfway down Lake Leake Hill, Tas.
4. Tropicana deck of cards - Rainstorm in the Kimberley
5. Mold-A-Rama Liberty Bell - Disappeared! Sorry, kid!

Wherever you are, we miss you!
these are the unanswered contests in our neighbourhood...
We always let these drag on, don't we? I think that's why people don't enter them anymore... they just know that (a) we keep forgetting to tell you the answers and (b) we rarely announce the winners, or send prizes for that matter. Hey, we're busy, okay?

I was trying to find a way to make the answers appear upside down, but it wasn't worth it. In any case, here they are.

Two Truths and a Lie - Week 16
Sam can't play the Didgeridoo, Tom is actually 11th in line for a Scottish Lordship, Franziska chokes when she has beer through her nose, and Toby's never MC'd anywhere in London, not even on his birthday, which happens to be Australia Day.
What the Hell is This? - Week 25
We gave you this visual teaser way back. You've had a lot of time to ponder, and many of you came up with the correct answer - it's a trail of catapillars! Although it looks like a piece of wool, these smart creepy crawlies are joined together out in the open to discourage birds from grabbing a quick lunch.
Where's Dorko? - Week 29
(1) Dorko's in Washington DC, in front of the Jefferson Monument (2) Dorko's in Lebanon, Kansas, Geographical centre of the 48 states (3) Dorko's in Memphis (4) Dorko's in Toon Town, Disneyland (5) Dorko's at the Pony Express Station (6) Dorko's in Belle Fourche, centre of the 50 states.
How Old is Nana? - Week 31
It was Nana's birthday in Albany, and we celebrated with a huge cake. Although many of you attempted to guess her age, the only person to get this right was Kev's Mom. Nana certainly doesn't look her age - a whopping ninety-one years old! She'd be almost ninety-two by now! She hardly looks a day over seventy.
A Toughie But Goodie - Week 32
A bikky is a biscuit, a prezzie is a present, the hossie is the Hospital, Chrissy is Christmas, the telly is a TV, barbie's a BBQ, the Pokies are the gambling machines, pinnies are pinball, anything exy is expensive, a soapy is either a soap opera or a laundromat, chokkies are chocolates, ciggies are cigarettes, rellies are relatives, and curry is just curry.
What the Hell is This? - Week 42
Eric Grant has been around long enough to know that this is an old-fashioned money-transfer cable is the supermarket. Back in the day, money was transferred from the office down to the cash register. No money was actually kept at the till, and the office managers could oversee the entire operation. Sneaky!
Who's Wally Wombat? - Week 48
(1) Mmm, Coffee! (2) Tess! How I loved her! (3) I got gold teef on Week Firty Five! (4) Stromatolites! That's fun to say! (5) Rove, of course (6) Kermit the Frog is eating me! (7) Farts are fast, but the answer is 290km/h (8) Gadzooks! The answer is Gadzooks! Congratulations, Krista Wise!
You Don't Know Jack! - Week 52
Except for the citrus harvester, the Shelby Mustang and the rights to Freddy Fuddrucker, everything else about him is true! Even the bit about Cybill Sheppard! And the five heart attacks! What an amazing guy. (By the way, the guy who owns the Australian rights to Freddy Fuddrucker was back on Week 46, in case you were interested.)
where's wally wombat?
Well, boys and girls, it's time to close the book on another Beimers.com adventure. I'm dressed in my pilot suit, since I'll be the one flying the plane to glorious New Zealand. Jeepers! I don't even know how to fly!

I think I'll contact the Guinness Book of Records to see if I qualify to be the first wombat to bike around Australia! Wouldn't that be something! Of course, I didn't really do any of the biking. Maybe I'll just be the first wombat to travel around Australia in a camera case!

Now that you don't have me to entertain you, I have two great suggestions to keep you busy. One: Go back and look for me on every page of the site starting on Week 12! Two: You can use the form below to congratulate Kevin, Aimee, and me on the completion of our excellent adventure! Party on dudes, and see you in New Zealand!
Type your congratulatory message below:

Look for your message on the bottom of this page sometime soon!
Your Name:
Your Email Address:

Big thanks to the kids from Horsham 298 for electing me to go on this trip with Kevin & Aimee! I'll never forget you!

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flight of fancy Today's Weather:
Why is Mr. Flight Centre wearing that cheeky grin? Perhaps, kiddies, he's smiling because he just won our contest. It wasn't the Big Things in Australia contest, or the How Old is Nana contest from week 31. It's not even one of our many What The Hell Is Thises. He went and won a contest that wasn't on the site, and wasn't even open to anyone besides Kev & I. It was the How Cheap Can We Get Back To Canada contest! And Mr. Flight Centre stole our thunder.
   You see, New Zealand is very stringent when it comes to immigration. I guess they don't want people coming into the country, seeing what an incredible place it is, and staying forever. So, in order to get in, you have to prove that you're someday getting out.
   And so, we set out on an internet quest. I found two tickets for $3500, Wellington to Thunder Bay. Kev came back with $3300. Then we started to get creative, saying that we could fly nearby and get picked up, or fly to Vancouver and pick up a cheap internal flight. We bounced the prices back and forth, and I think I was in the lead with $2958. Then Geoff (Mr. Flight Centre) had to stick his nose in and take my winnings away. $2450. How could he?
   Looks like he gets the prize: both airline meals on the flight home. Let's just see him collect.
David: "I still haven't finished Spiderman since you left."
Kevin: "Are you serious? I finished it last night."
let the bells ring out Today's Weather:
It's been ages since we've seen Emma, Jess and Millie, and they've all grown about three inches. We, on the other hand, have merely grown our hair.
   We've been really looking forward to spending Christmas at David's place, especially with the three girls. Not that we'd say no to another Christmas with Wyatt Edwards, but there's something to be said for having a tree, lights, presents, stockings, early morning excitement, and the whole Christmas package wrapped into one big morning frenzy of paper-tearing excitement.
   Now if only I could stop sweating so much, it would almost be perfect.

"Millie, stop trying your hardest to be a badass and smile!"
- Kevin.
bikes in box Today's Weather:
Yipes! Today is the day we've been dreaming of for at least six months.... It's the day the bikes cease to function. Oh sure, we've had other days when the bikes have ceased to function, and it wasn't pretty. But today we want them to come apart.
   The frames are being unscrewed, the tires deflated, the chains degreased, and the entire mess wiped and polished to pass quarantine. I know we've mentioned this before, but it's very surreal to be taking them apart in the very same backyard that we put them together in fifteen months ago. It almost makes it seem like it was all a dream. As we polish the frames to a high finish, we realize that the only proof we have that we went anywhere is the occasional scratch, and a couple of unmatched screws. But we could have picked those up at any Bunnings, even right here in Brisbane.
nbsp;  Was it all a dream? Hahaahaha. Wouldn't that have been funny, if we woke up today and found out that we hadn't gone anywhere and we still had the entire trip ahead of us! I think I would cry.

"Is there any point in packing the music stand?"
- Kevin.
stocking full of guilt Today's Weather:
Let me fill you in on how we spent Christmas. After a fun-filled morning of unwrapping presents and making the girls pose with sleepy smiles, they went off and spent the day with rellies. That left us alone for the rest of the day to celebrate Christmas our way - talking with family and friends on the phone. You would have thought this was a good experience, but it didn't go as well as we'd planned. You see, for some reason, my sister came up with this theory that we were going home to Thunder Bay to surprise the family just like when we did on the roadtrip.
   The rumour spread. Favourite foods were purchased. By the end of Christmas eve, I think most of Thunder Bay was convinced we were on the next flight in. Yet, in reality, we were still in Brisbane, knee-deep in bike grease and assorted suitcases.
   We didn't find out any of this until we made the Christmas call home. Then, all hell broke loose. There were some very upset siblings and parents that we weren't at home. How could we possibly be away for another Christmas!?!
   Somehow, it was our fault. According to Aimee's sister, we tricked everyone into thinking we weren't coming home, and then we went and didn't. We're so evil! Of course, the end result of this was that not only did we miss everybody a normal holiday amount, but now we were made to feel guilty because we ruined Christmas. I'm pretty sure we were the innocent party in all of this, but it sure didn't feel like it.
   How could we have resolved this issue? Perhaps by not traipsing around the world like the adventurers we are, staying home and getting "real" jobs or perhaps even the dreaded "settling down." It all sounds nice, but think how boring that would be to read about!

"Tyrone just died in the pool! Quick! Let's put somebody else in the pool!"
- Jess, playing the Sims.
follow in our toeclips Today's Weather:
It's only the day after Christmas, but Dave's already working off the extra turkey by riding down to the Gold Coast on a stinkin' hot day. Little does he know what the trip is like to get to the Gold Coast. Ha! We may never see the man again. At least he knows there's always a place to stay in the Beenleigh Cemetery.
   Why the Boxing Day expedition? David's in training... He's going to ride around Australia too! But we already told you that yesterday. When asked how he feels about taking a trip of such magnitude, he has no worries, save one. Louie.

Would you like to take care of Louie while David's away?
Find out more about him! Please say yes!

"Oh, when you got excited about something I thought you were going to tell me you were having a baby!"
- Aim's Dad.
the last supper Today's Weather:
It's never too late to make one final friend in a country. For our last supper in Australia, we had dinner with Karen, Scott and Karen's sister, Christie.
   We lucked out here, because Christie lives right near the airport and our flight leaves at an early 8am tomorrow. We're planning on getting there at 5am to give them time to digest all the equipment we'll by flying with.
   Thanks again, Karen & Scott! That's three we owe you now!

"She made this rocky road just for me? Hands off, Aimee!"
- Kevin.
welcome to middle earth Today's Weather:
This is it. The final few moments in Australia. How do you sum up nearly two years spent in a country like this, when one has done the things we've done? I don't think you can without getting all sentimental and wishy-washy, and we're not like that at all. I will say, however, that Australia has been the most difficult country I've ever experienced. All our own doing, of course, but difficult nonetheless.
   I can only hope that New Zealand is a bit cushier...

Stay tuned for nz.beimers.com!

"Can't you allocate the extra weight to, say, the passenger in 13C or 13D? Surely he's not carrying recumbent trikes as well."
- Kevin.
tada: (ex.) Goodbye. Talk to you later. Similiar to "tootle-loo". Very amusing for overseas callers because it tends to sound like the end of a magic trick, or a bit fairyish.
"We'll get that pizza to you in less than thirty minutes, sir. Tada."

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© 2003 Kevin & Aimee Beimers. Well, I guess we'll see you never.