week 40...
lap of luxury

Pt. Lincoln to Pt. Neill

You may think that being a hardened adventurer is a lot of fun. You know, battling snakes and cyclones, uncovering lost treasures in darkened caverns, sleeping with beautiful exotic women, that sort of thing. Well, it's not. It's a lot of hard work is what it is. That's why we need a seriously big Snack Stop to get us through the day.

This week was a well deserved treat. We were supposed to be on the other side of Port Augusta by now, but, we met this cyclist, see, and one thing led to another, and, well, now we've got beds to sleep in all the way up the coast. And NO, we are NOT getting soft in our old age. Remember, even Indiana Jones needs a break now and then.
King of the Hill:
Name: Kingsley
Wife: Raelene
Daughters: Paula, Nicola

Job: Unemployed
Last Job: Accountant

Little Known Fact: Kingsley's the President of the Bike Club, but he hates riding a bike!

meet the king
Meet Kingsley Mason, soon to be future former partner of Hazael Mason Newman Sanders. That sentence made no sense? I'll let him explain...

Kingsley, what special event is about to happen in your life? I have been a partner in an accounting firm for the past 30 years, and I've decided it's time to move on. I'm selling my part of the partnership, and moving on to other things. Yippee!

What kind of other things? Oh, boy, there's so much to do come Monday. I've got to go through the family finances, get my life in order, make travel plans, re-alphabetise the shed, work on the garden, maybe start a business or two...

You mentioned travel plans? Yes, years ago I made a list of all the Top 5 things I wanted to do in my lifetime: visit the pyramids, fly in the concorde, visit Antarctica, things like that. Well, I can successfully say that I'm onto the B-list. Coming up, there's an airshow in El Paso I'd like to see... there's so much to do!

You're not even going to take the time to get bored first? Well, Raelene's reserved me for Monday morning. I'm not allowed out of bed until 10.

meet the boss
Raelene's ready to rock and roll. Come Monday, Rae has Kingsley all to herself. Little does he know, though, she's got big plans for Mr. Organisation...

So, what have you got on tap for you and Kingsley come next week? Well, first there's this weekend to get through. Friday is the office goodbye party, Saturday is the friends party, Sunday is the family party. And don't tell Kingsley, but Paula and Nicola are flying home for it!

From where? They both live in Adelaide, so it's just a short hop. He doesn't know about it though. He'll be thrilled.

And what's next? I've been giving serious thought to running a bicycle touring company... you know, pick a country each year, organise a 7- or 14-day tour, complete with food, lodging, sightseeing, and the like. We did it last year in New Zealand, and everyone on the tour pretty much said, "Anywhere Rae and King go, I go too," so I've got a dozen definite customers to start.

But Kingsley doesn't like biking. Would he be interested? That's the best part! He doesn't cycle, but he's happy to drive the support vehicle, prepare the meals, and of course, the planning is half the fun. It's great because we never have to argue about who is going to drive the van today.

Sounds like you're ready to enjoy some time off. You bet. Monday morning, he's mine!

Rae of Sunshine:
Name: Raelene
Hubby: Kingsley
Daughters: Same as above

Job: Unemployed
Last Job: PR Manager at Bank SA
Side Job: Nutrimetics
Future Job: Bike Tour Guide

Little Known Fact: Raelene's a sucker for a solid pair of calf-muscles.

these are the people in our neighbourhood...

Martin
After hearing about us, Martin decided to become a sponsor of our trip, so he ran out and bought us some Mars bars, pecans, and a giant honkin' can of tuna! Not only that, he convinced his folks to let us use their cabin in Port Neill. Yay! Scrabble! We may never leave!
Ian
Have you ever met a dog named Ian? Me neither. I used to know a dog named Dave, and I thought that was funny, but Ian. He actually responds to two other names that I can't remember (one is something like "Bruschetta"). He's got a really cute sweater though.
The Seahorse Lady
We took a tour of the Seahorse Farm back on Tuesday, and it was pleasantly run by Marie. Marie and her husband have been running the farm since 1998, and business is good. It's a fascinating tourist stop... I guarantee you'll never see this many seahorses in one place again. Go!
The Calderwoods
After a day of cycling through nasty headwinds, the last thing anyone wants is to sleep through a nasty headwind. We asked a farmer if we could camp in their shed, and they invited us in! Toasted sandwiches, wine, TV, and a kitten named Ginger made it a night to remember! Thanks again!
Gavin
Way back at the footy game in Wangary, a dude was trying to park his car where our bikes were. I offered to move them, he said it was alright, and found another spot. Nice guy. Then, he turned out to be a friend of The Calderwoods. So we got to meet him again! What a crazy life we lead! (He also knows Kingsley!)
John & Diana
Another lucky break for us... one of Kingsley's clients owns the Tumby Bay Caravan Park! A not-so-simple 47km after leaving the Masons' place, we ended up in a cabin in Tumby Bay! A comfy bed, our own space, and most importantly, a stove top to make popcorn! Yum! Thanks again and again!
wally's amazin' facts!
Last week, I showed you two seahorses. Which was male and which was female? Here's a hint: the one on the left has a bony belly, where the right one's belly expands to hold baby seahorses. Think you know now? You're still wrong! Did you know that it's the male seahorse that gets pregnant and carries the babies? Of course you didn't! That's why wombats always win at Trivial Pursuit.

This Week's Amazin' Fact: Everybody's heard of the Concorde. Me old mate Kingsley has actually flown in it! And, he was invited up into the cockpit! Lucky duck! The concorde can make the flight from New York to London in just over three hours, and during the flight, the outside of the plane heats up like crazy. Did you know that, because of the heat, the plane actually expands 10 inches! And you were complaining about not having any legroom!

Here's one to think about until next week: What does a spermologer collect?

Keep your eyes open for Wally's amazin' hat!
we don't ask for much...
We know you're here, but how did you find us? Come on, it's just one question.
I've been following in real time since your Roadtrip.
I read Kev's column in Australian Cyclist.
I saw you in the paper.
I met you in the middle of nowhere.
Kev's mom told me about it.
I was looking up a string of unrelated words on Google and your site came up.
I was trying to buy Kino's sandals.
Other:
 
Anything you want to add, since we've provided the space?
 
Distance this week: 98kmDistance since Day 1: 11600km

What is Bikeabout? Click here to find out!

Day 275: Sitting Pretty
here's a quarter...
Nothing to do today but read magazines, bake cookies, sit by the fire, and send some emails. Is this how normal people live? Where do we sign up?
   Look at it from our point of view for a moment. We're in Port Lincoln, with about 4000km to go until we reach the Big Pineapple again. In one chunk of our minds, we're jumping up & down saying "We're three quarters done! Only the easy bit to go!"
   But tell anyone here that you've only got to make it to Brisbane, and they'll say, "What, ONLY Brisbane? Haw haw! I've never even driven that far!" In fact, it's more impressive to say we're going to Adelaide, a mere 750km. At least they have a concept of distance. They'll still laugh though.
   So, in the meantime, if we're going to be in the populated areas for the rest of the trip, we're going to milk it for all it's worth. Pass me another magazine. And a cookie.

"You're only as old as the women you feel."
- Kingsley*
(*originally Groucho Marx)
Day 276: The 1/7th Wonder of the World
my little pony
If you want a fun way to spend an hour this afternoon, head down to your local seahorse farm for a factory tour. It's GREAT! You get to learn all about how seahorses are bred, see cute little just-born seaponies, and check out all the chameleon-like colours of full-grown seahorses. If your local seahorse farm is anything like the Port Lincoln seahorse farm, it'll also have some kick-ass seadragons, which are some of the freakiest creatures you'll ever lay eyes on.
   Whassa? You don't have a local seahorse farm? You've never even heard of a seahorse farm? Oh, right. Maybe that's because the one in Port Lincoln is one of only seven in the whole world! Too bad for you, huh? Guess you'd better move your sorry ass to Lincoln.

Little Known Kev & Aim Fact: After so long on the trikes, we now get carsick within minutes. So don't drive us around for too long, or we'll start to turn green. Yuck.

"How do they manage to find footy news every night of the week when they only play on Saturdays and Sundays?"
- Kevin.
Day 277: Designer Cogs
new jersey
We can't just sit around at Kingsley and Raelene's place, eating their food and watching their DVD's without doing something in return. Well, we could, but when we see that we can help with something, we like to jump right in!
   You see, it's not often that we can return a favour. Short of saying, "you can stay at my place if you ever get to wherever I end up eventually living, if I have a house by then," there's not much we can say except "thanks." But today, Kev's got a skill to contribute to the greater good!
   By now you know that Raelene and Kingsley are heavily involved with the Peninsula Pedallers, and in fact, Raelene is on the sub-committee to design and contract out their very own biking jerseys. As with a lot of design projects involving more than one person, they had run into difficulties, the greatest being that a group of non-graphic designers we're trying to work with a company who is used to receiving approved vectorized artwork by email (not a conceptual painting, which is what they received). To make matters worse, the company was in Melbourne, making it difficult to do that "look over the designer's shoulder" thing.
   In came Kevin to translate. One day on the job, and all was sorted, redesigned, approved and completed, with the jerseys and club logo looking better than ever!
   With all this focus on Kevin, Aimee quietly snuck off to explore the town and sample a Cadbury Banana Shake.

"Monday morning, get yourself a big bag of money and skip back and forth in front of the office windows."
- Kevin, dispensing retirement advice to Kingsley.
Day 278: Kingsley makes a run for it!
Distance Travelled: 30.3km Temperature: 15
Time on Trikes: 6h Water Left: 0L
Terrain: Two steps back
End Location: Brian & Rosalie's Farm
gale affair
Yesterday was beautiful - sunny and fresh. Today was a lesson in patience with gale force winds and thunder. We were travelling at 3km/hour.
   If there's an art to adventure travel, it's knowing when to stop. Not stop for good, but rather, when to end that day's travel. Each day you try to push yourself past where you'd hope to go, despite what Mother Nature has planned for you. Often, one person needs to take charge and make the decision for the weary team. When the gale force winds were actually beginning to tip our 400+ kilogram machine on it's side, and when one team member is shuddering and whimpering with his hands over his eyes and ears, that's a good time to call it quits.
   But what if calling it quits means that you've got nowhere to go to get out of the wind and rain? There are just some nights when you've got to swallow your pride and ask a farmer for shelter. If you're lucky, they'll be as nice as Brian and Rosalie and invite you into their homes, turning a scary night into a warm and friendly one. And wouldn't you know it, they just had a new bed delivered today. The ol' Kevin & Aimee Stroke of Luck strikes again!

"I can't understand why anyone would ride their bike for fun!"
- Aimee.
Day 279: Inside I'm cringing.
Distance Travelled: 22.1km Temperature: 18
Time on Trikes: 1.5h Water Left: 0.5L
Terrain: Easy after yesterday
End Location: Tumby Bay Caravan Park
bed head
What was supposed to be a day in Port Lincoln and six more to Port Augusta is slowly turning into two weeks of cushy cushy comfort. Four nights at the Masons', a bed at the Coolibar farm last night, and now a short hop to Tumby Bay, where Kingsley set us up with a cabin at the Tumby Bay Caravan Park! Then tomorrow, we move on to a beachside holiday house in Port Neill! Thank goodness for the Peninsula Pedallers!
   You know what this means... even though we've already clocked a whole 50km, with still another 40 or so to go this week, we're staying in a bed every night this week. This must be how regular people travel! It's unheard of. It's a record. As you can see, Aimee's thrilled.

"I'm not surprised you didn't make it here until today. I saw you shuddering on the side of the road yesterday as I drove by."
- Stranger in Tumby Bay.
Day 280: Any port in a storm
Distance Travelled: 45.7km Temperature: 15
Time on Trikes: 6h Water Left: 0.5L
Terrain: Rained Out
End Location: Cabin #9
neighbourhood watch?
We could have been arrested today. Thinking back on this expedition, we haven't run into too many opportunities to be arrested, so it was a refreshing change.
   Our path to crime began in Port Lincoln (however, it had nothing to do with smuggling or tuna) when our friend Martin asked his Uncle if we could stay at his shack in Port Neill. The arrangements were made, and with the keys we were given the very simple instructions of:
  1. Take the road to the beach.
  2. Turn left at the ocean.
  3. It's Cabin #9.
We thought even dweebs like us couldn't go wrong, and by the time we got here, we had already been drenched three times by hail-like stinging pinprick rain and pretty much ready to be inside of any structure.
   So what did we do? We did the obvious thing: Took the road to the beach, turned left and went to Cabin #9. It was right there. We pulled into the back yard and tried to keys in the door. They didn't work. No problem. Try the other doors. Nope. How about trying the keys again? Still no. Let me try. Nope. Hmmm. Windows? Locked. A puzzle. How about we have a sandwich on the porch before going to call Port Lincoln for further instructions? Yummm.
   Okay, before we call, why don't we ride over to those cabins and see if it's one of them? It's worth a shot.
   At this point, we sink deeper into criminal activity. You see, we found another cabin labelled #9. With this one, we became more aggressive (crime breeds crime), looking through the old magazines piled in the yard to see if they were subscriptions belonging to Martin's Uncle. Again, we tried all doors and entrances into this second Cabin #9. No luck.
   As we were sulking away from this Cabin #9, we spotted another set of cabins one street up. What the hell. We've already tried to break into every other home in this town, let's go the whole way. In almost unbelieveable circumstances, there was yet another Cabin #9. How could this be? An entire town of Cabin #9's? Luckily for us, and the Town of Port Neill, our attempted crime spree came to an end as this was the right Cabin #9.
   And they say small towns are safer. If two soaking wet homeless-looking people on a strange contraption can attempt to get into three different cabins in broad daylight, is anyone safe anymore? Hey, at least we didn't walk right into to either of the first two and make ourselves a coffee...

"Maybe there's some quality television on, like Burgo's Catchphrase."
- Kevin.
Day 281: Crochet Magic
End Location: Port Neill, Cabin #9
something new
Before we started this expedition, we came up with a mental list of things we wanted to learn while we had all this time cycling... learn a new language, study Egyptian hieroglyphics, achieve a front handspring, regular stuff like that. Little did we realize that we had more time when we both had full-time jobs than we do now! This adventuring is tough work, you know.
   However, we have emerged not entirely talentless. Kev's learned to crochet! He's already made his new wife monogrammed mittens! And a hat for Wally! Nothing like a harrowing adventure to make a man out of you!

"You may have anything up to and including 49% of my sandwich, thus still technically making it my sandwich."
- Kevin.
turps: (n.) alcohol, as in the expression "on the turps" or "into the turps". Presumably derived from turpentine, the poor man's Saturday night. According to Kingsley, if you mix it with cordial, it's quite good.


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© 2003 Kevin & Aimee Beimers. This looks like a job for Retina Man!