week 22...
meet ya halfway!

Brisbane to Carnarvon!

Arr, Billy, ever been to sea? Why, this old seafarer could show you a thi-- Hey, wait a sec. That's not a pipe! That's a razor! Does that mean what I think it means?
by the hairs of his chinny chin chin...
At first it was kinda neat-o, watching his beard grow to new lengths. Then, it became tiresome. Finally, these past couple of months, it's been a visible sign that we've cut ourselves off from the cleaner, shaven part of society (the part that drinks milk slowly enough to warrant a glass, and doesn't need a shovel to go to the toilet).

Heck, I don't even know what his face looks like anymore. Maybe he doesn't even have a face under all that frizz. Let's find out...

Sure, we could have gone to a 'hairdresser' or a 'barber' but why, when a trip to the chemist will do the trick? Armed with only a two-dollar pair of scissors and a pink chick-razor, I attempt to tackle the mess of seaweed that has been accumulating on Kev's chin since we started this trip. Satisfying!

Look at that clump of beard scruff. We could make ourselves another Wally with it! But my oh my, doesn't Kevin look handsome?
Eric the Red, White & Blue:
Origin: Colorado
In Oz: 5 yrs
Job: Construction
Status: Single
Dog: Paco
Car: Busted
Likes: Olives

Next Destination: Dongarra for some fishing, then Perth for work.

Well-Known Fact: No offence to you southerners, but to an Aussie, any American is known as a Yank.

meet eric the yank
We've gotten so used to the Aussie accent that it sounds very strange to hear a familiar North American honest to goodness 'R'. This particular 'R' was attached to a really friendly bloke who happens to like Australia just as much as we do!

How long have you been in Australia? Oh, about five years now.

Legally? Oh, yeah, went through the migration process, and I'm an honourary Aussie now.

What do you do here? Here in Australia, I'm in construction. Here in this campground, I'm waiting for my car to be fixed. Damn gearbox blew, should cost a pretty penny. Anyway, yeah, for the past few months I've been working construction out on one of the most remote Aboriginal Communities in Australia... Yagga Yagga, about 300km south of Halls Creek.

Let's check the map... Holy Frickin' Frack, there isn't even a road to it. Like I said, it's a ways out. But it's a heck of a lot better than Balgo, north of it. The elder who started Yagga Yagga didn't like the crime and the state the youth were in in Balgo, so he took all the good kids and headed south. There's still a bit of it, but it's heaps better.

What other travelling have you done? Back in the day I used to be all over the place. Went across Europe and Asia back in the 70s, across India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, places like that.

Any hostility back then toward America? Not anything like it would be now. Strangely enough, I almost had to use my John Howard Spot-A-Terrorist Handbook back in Broome. My roommate was married to a guy from the Middle East, and when he found out I was American, he just started giving it to me. Talked about how great a man Saddam was and stuff... creepy. I moved out.
these are the people in our neighbourhood...

The Exmouth Doctors
We met Carl and Bidd at the Minilya Roadhouse at the start of this week... they saved us the next day by bringing us fresh 'n clean Carnarvon water and lots and lots of oranges! Hand picked right here in California! Yum!
Coke Guy
It's a dream that one day the Cokemobile would pull up and offer it's contents to us. Today, Paul, the Coke Guy, pulled up and gave us a couple of experimental Coca-Cola products. Not exactly what we'd dreamt about, but much appreciated all the same.
A Canadian! Right here in Carnarvon! Marcelyne is French Canadian, and believe it or not, her Mum lives in Thunder Bay!
Paco: the crazy barking, humping, bundle of doggy fun! Gimme that stick, Paco!

wally's amazin' facts!
Are you done scratching your stinky head wondering what the heck a Coolgardie Safe is? We learned about such a contraption at Fortescue River Roadhouse. It's a tin box, covered with a burlap bag crowned with a drippy bottle. What good is that? you ask. When the bottle drips, the burlap gets wet, then the water evaporates, cooling the tin box. It keeps whatever's inside nice and cool. You can even set Jello in it! There's always room for Jello!

This Week's Amazin' Fact: By now you should know that Carnarvon is the half-way point in this expedition. That means Kevin, Aimee and I have travelled over 7,200 kilometres! But did you also know that Carnarvon is the Westernmost point in Australia that we're going to see? That's right! From here on in, it's East and South! Two of my favourite words!

By the way, do you know the real Westernmost mainland point in Australia? Here's a hint: We'll be driving right by the turnoff next week!

Don't forget to look for Wally this week!
Distance this week: 210kmDistance since Day 1: 7230km

What is Bikeabout? Click here to find out!

Day 149: A Bird's Life
Distance Travelled: 56.7km Temperature: 35
Time on Trikes: 5.5h Water Left: 9.5L
Terrain: Flat and windy
End Location: Highway Near Minilya
a new week
Okay, so maybe we were a little harsh last week, but it sure felt good to get it out of our system. Someone up there must have heard all of our whingeing because this week is starting out in top form. The weather is cool, the birds are singing (there are birds) and we're refreshed after having some treats at Minilya Roadhouse, the cleanest little roadhouse this side of... um... Queensland?
   Sure, it may be a little windy, but nothing seems too harsh when your tummy's full of warm apple pie and cold ice cream. Imagine, being able to eat something cold and hot at the same time? Instead of just warm? What a treat! Speaking of treats, Minilya was the first Roadhouse we've been to in months that actually served coffee in a choice other than "instant". Call me a snob, but cappuccino is just another signal that we're getting closer and closer to the land of civilization. And just when I was going troppo.

"New Woman magazine, eh? That'll sure blow me hair back!"
- Roadhouse patron, looking for TNT magazine.
Day 150: Would you stop if it said 'Need Ice Cream'?
Distance Travelled: 93.1km Temperature: 30
Time on Trikes: 12h Water Left: 10L
Terrain: Perfect
End Location: Highway near Carnarvon
handy hint #234
Naw. No problem. If we run out of water, we'll just put a sign on the back of the bikes and someone will stop.
   That's the theory. As with most theories, and snake drills, when put into action they don't work. A much better method of getting water from passing cars is to hold your water bottle upside down and point frantically at it when a car passes. It's not foolproof, but it's got a certain guilt factor that seems to work a lot better.
   I'm telling you this because I don't ever want you to think that beimers.com is full of useless knowledge. You never know when you'll find yourself in this part of the world in need of some water. Think of all the time and marker ink you'll have saved yourself thanks to us. You're welcome.

Editor's Note: A great deal of beimers.com is full of useless knowledge and even, unbelieveably, grossly inaccurate knowledge. For one such sad example, return to the day Aimee and Kevin visited Philidelphia. Oddly enough, while they've received many emails on the fact that Delaware doesn't have the lowest-highest point in the USA, and that Kokomo doesn't have the highest restaurant per capita ratio, they've never received a single comment about any historical inaccuracies on this page. Sigh.

"I think I'll eat the whole Sara Lee line."
- Kevin.
Day 151: Major Mango
Distance Travelled: 40.6km Temperature: 28
Time on Trikes: 4h Water Left: 5.5L
Terrain: Easy Ride
End Location: Capricorn Caravan Park
half-way day!
Holy Frickin' Frack! We did it! We made it halfway! That's halfway around the continent on BIKES! Wow.

Mangoes for everyone!

   Quick! Send us a congratulatory message to tell us how proud of us you are, and how deep down you really didn't think we'd make it through but you'd hope we did because reading about other people's suffering is always entertaining and you want another five months of such enjoyment.

Let us know you're proud!

"Mango Leather?"
-Kevin & Aimee, in unison.
Day 152: Mini Mango
Distance Travelled: 15.3km Temperature: 31
Time on Trikes: 2h Water Left: 3.5L
Terrain: Light Traffic
End Location: Capricorn Caravan Park
that not so fresh feeling
Being as obsessed with supermarkets as we all know we are, we've discovered that Woolworths will occasionally mark down fresh (or perhaps, not-so-fresh) items to ridiculous prices so that they sell fast. It's not that unusual, but when you're on a budget you can get a bit, oh, excited, about mark-downs. In Karratha, what really threw us over the edge was when I spotted a litre of Harvey Fresh Iced Coffee for 61 cents! We drank a lot of milk that day.
   So today in Carnarvon, while I was busy trying to read as many of my emails as I could for eight bucks an hour, Kev had been skipping around the Wooley's planning our food purchases. He caught sight of the lady with the "Reduced for Quick Sale" stickers and came running back:

"Aimee! There's a clearance on meat in the Wooley's! Hurry!"
"No way! Let's go!"
"Just grab whatever you can! We'll sort through it later!"
"I just saw the sticker lady in the bakery section! There next!"

   For the hour we were there, I felt like I was on The Price is Right where you have to grab as much stuff and put it into your cart before the buzzer rings. Buzz! We're having steak tonight!

"I still can't believe you have a chin."
- Aimee.
Day 153: Kev's Backyard
nothing to report
Usually every couple of weeks there's a day that all we do is work solidly to get this website done. That creates the paradox where we need to write something funny and entertaining about the day where all we did was write funny and entertaining things. WELL, NO MORE.
   From now on, when we've got a workday, I'm just going to write - WORKDAY - and then we'll all have saved a little time. You won't be reading semi-funny filler and I won't be writing it. Good? Good. Now leave me alone, I've got work to do.

"I'm on a bike, but I'm not as dumb as you."
- Aimee.
Day 154: Smith & Joe = Happiness
big thanks to big 4!
I am the happiest person in the world. Kings and queens, presidents, chairpersons, CEOs and Hillary Clinton haven't ever been as happy as I am right now. I'm lying on the bed in my own room, I've got a hot cuppa at my side (in a mug!), a bag of chips (and dip!) and a great trashy book to read. Not a single kilometer that will pass under my feet today and not an ounce of sweat will pour from my body. At any time, I can get out of bed, and, bringing my book with me, pop right into that bathroom next to me. I don't even need to wear pants! Though I did for your sake.
   Thanks to Big 4 Caravan Parks, one of our favourite sponsors, we've got two free nights in an En Suite Cabin to celebrate the big seven-two-oh-oh! Now, if anyone needs me, I'll be in the bath.

"Sigh... how did someone as lucky as me end up with someone like you?"
- Source.
Day 155: Closed Caption
leave us alone.

It's our day off.

Aim: "I'm just going to check on the weather."
Kev: "I'm just going to finish my Hilary Swank Find-A-Word."
strewth: (ex.) perhaps more appropriately spelled ''s-'-truth, a contraction of 'it's the truth' or 'is that the truth?' Most often heard while spilling the goss.
Man: "Where'd ya start?"   K: "Brisbane!"   Man: "Strewth!"

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© 2003 Dorkapotamus & The Carnarvon Banana. Smugly Smatismied.